Thursday, September 07, 2006

Holy shit it's an update

Seems I am most inclined to update my blog when I'm sitting outside in the gazebo. Being out in the warmth and sun helps fire my inspiration, gets the creative juices flowing. Even still, there's not a whole lot exciting going on in my life right now -- things are moving along at their eternal "too fast yet too boring" pace -- and there's not much happening that merits a blog entry (which is saying a lot when you consider how low the blog entry bar has been set).

But since we're all here, and the sun is setting in a non-metaphoric way on a lovely end-of-summer day (you should see the view from the gazebo here; it's sweet, with orange water and a purple sky and boats tinted pink), I may as well confide in you that these past few days I have been enduring intense internal debate on the topic of whether or not I should once again fire up the online dating machines. The issues pro and con are many and complex and I'm not going to detail them here. But I have noticed that there are two main issues that define the rest of the debate: at this point, I'm not sure if I'm looking for love, or if I'm just looking for someone to bang the shit out of for the short term.

Because I am a romantic (of the poetic variety, if not the candles and flowers variety), I believe that love, though harder to find, is worthier of pursuit. But I'm not sure I'm ready to face the risks of the pursuit just yet -- heart break, rejection, the feeling that everyone but me has found their special someone (which is a retarded term, "special someone," -- it's a vulgar euphemism for "someone you can put your cock in without wanting to kick her out of bed immediately afterward" -- and it'd be nicer if we could just say what we mean without having to prance around the truth like forest fairies).... Anyway, I don't have the energy or the emotional endurance to search for true love right now.

Which means what I'm truly interested in finding right now is a girl I can bang the shit out of for the short term. A girl with a big ass that I can whale away on. And I mean a gigantic fucking ass. An ass that might swallow me up if I'm not careful. I want to go fucking spelunking into some chick's ass. But meeting the right person for this has got to be even harder than finding someone to fall in love with. Looking for asses to plumb is too outside the norm for me to go walking up to big-bottom girls and asking if they're into starting a purely superficial relationship that entails nothing more than eating, boozing, and fucking. At least on Long Island it is. Maybe in Miami, California, or Brazil, where all our pro-am internet porno comes from, things are different. Long Island is where I'm at, though, and so Long Island norms are what I have to deal with, and in spite of the fact that Long Island is mostly Lutheran (which is code for "loose moraled"), it is not easy to find a nice big ass to bottom out in without also getting into a "relationship" with someone. Which is a damn shame because there really are a lot of lonely giant asses around here and I'd be more than happy to spend some time with them.