Baby steps

My book of literary agents showed up today, and I bought an e-book on writing query letters last night. Now comes the part where I need to get serious about finding an agent, which means writing and rewriting my query letter until it's perfect, then finding the right agents to send it to.

Also downloaded the swing dance study guide from the dance-manhattan site. Looks like they have lots of times when I can drop in for lessons. That's good, because the Institute for Culinary Education is running their Cooking 101 class again until late August. I should just sign up now and commit to it though.

So these are the small things I've done that make me feel like I'm making progress. But they're not really the real work. That has yet to come. Can't afford to dawdle. Must have at least a serious first draft of the query letter done by Monday. If there's a beginner's swing class I can attend this weekend, I should do that too.

At the same time I'm struggling with my solitude. My ex rules my mind and I feel like a pathetic, paralyzed fool.

The heart's filthy lesson

There's nothing like having your heart broken to sink you deep into the sort of unfathomable depression from which one only emerges after doing some serious life reevaluation.

You get to thinking about what it's going to take to meet and then keep a girl of the caliber of the one who just sent you packing. You start to ask yourself, What do I have to offer? And at this point, your lowest of lows, the answer is always, "Not fuckin' much."

Thus I'm giving myself 6 months to get my life into the shape I want. I will lose 40 pounds; I will learn to dance (well), and learn to cook (well); and I will pursue literary agents in an effort to sell my book (still in progress) like there's no tomorrow. If, in six months, these things haven't been accomplished (or are not well underway), I'm jumping off the Queensborough bridge.

This blog is going to stand as a record of my efforts.