Things that can go fuck themselves

TV
YouTube
The Onion
Esquire Magazine
Astrology
Women between the ages of 18 and 25
DreamWorks Entertainment
The Decembrists, Arcade Fire, and all similar whiney shit
Recycling
The MTA
The Obama administration
My dishes
Chinese food
Sex columnists
SUVs and minivans, but not semis and RVs
Sleep
Owning a cat
Failure to signal a turn while driving
Winter
Coupons
Bank of America
Deal 3 Solitaire
Motorcyclists under the age of 27
Babies